This article is inspired by ‘The International Day of Happiness’, celebrated every year on March 20th, which leads me to ask how much do you value happiness in your life?
How important is being happy to you? How much consideration do you put into what it means to be truly happy?
If I were to ask what your default state of mind is what would you say, ‘Joyful, angry, calm, grouchy, excited, miserable, confrontational, contented, stressed or [insert your own version]’
If I were to also ask what is your preferred state of mind, what would you say? I imagine most of you might say something positive. Rarely would we admit to saying we prefer a less than positive state of mind, yet we often behave as though this is the case.
If I were to ask the people closest to you what would they say your default state of mind is? Go ahead and ask them and see what they say.
Your state of mind audit will help you to think about how you feel most of the time, it’s designed to help you put some thought into what you could do differently to feel better about yourself and the world around you.
I grew up in a cycle of negativity, shrouded by anger and domestic violence so perhaps being happy means so much more to me as an adult. For me “Happy” is a deep-rooted feeling of contentment and calm. Happy means different things to each of us and will most certainly be different at each stage in our lives. Even now when I’m upset, disappointed or even angry about something it is fleeting, I know this is not how I want to feel so I make a choice to move on and feel good again.
Feeling good is my baseline, it’s easier to remain in a constant state when you calibrate and practice what this state is, looks and feels like, you can then stay in this state or return to it whenever you want. Remember, this works for any state of mind so choose wisely which one you calibrate and practice most often.
Truly happy
True happiness will mean choosing to feel this way for all if not the majority of the time, regardless of what’s happening in your life or around you. Some may argue it’s not possible to be happy all the time and some may argue it’s a choice.
Is it possible to craft a deep state of happiness, even when there is something more challenging happening, your steady state of happy, calm or positive remains?
Are you placing your happy compass and how you feel into the hands of someone else? Are you reliant on external sources to fulfil your happy? Do you have some resistance telling you it’s not possible to feel good all of the time? Has everything you’ve seen and experienced in your life caused you to be jaded?
It’s said that true happy comes from within. I often hear individuals speak about external sources, material things and people that make them happy, so when these sources, things and people are removed from their lives they no longer experience this feeling of happiness and move on to seek it from other external sources.
Some food for thought, true happiness comes from within and does not rely on external factors. True happy is a state of mind, external elements can only serve to enhance these feelings, feelings you already have through your own ability to create this positive state.
True happy does not come about as a result of a temporary situation or what’s happened externally, it comes from a state of mind only you can create, choose and own!
There are people everywhere in the world who are truly happy, regardless of what is going on around them, how do they manage to do this?
For you to be happy you might want all or a few of your own different elements coming together such as your mindset, wellbeing, choices, gratitude, perspectives, [insert your own] Note the examples I’ve provided are all elements with which we are each in control of, they come from within.
So what’s it to be? Will you choose to work on how to do ‘true happy’ or are you ok with part time or not happy at all?
Rosemarie Wilson
Mindset Coach
www.pragmaticacoaching.com
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